The pain lances through my neck like white lightning, dimming my vision and stealing my voice. I hear my stolen voice scream, the distorted howl bounce from the walls to the floor.

I feel the sharpness again, pulling, coming out from my neck, the huge gore coated needle pulls out from my neck, dripping red, red blood to the ground.

The ground, covered with my blood, coated with pulsing skin, the colour of dried blood. Like mine. My blood dries, and I feel the pain, the lance attacking. My head starts to throb, and my body is stolen from me like it always is, everything goes, it is stolen from me. My life, my memories, only the present remains.

My voice stops, and arms move me, my stolen body from my position, back up along the floor, my legs bouncing every time I cross a knot in the twisted blood coloured flesh. The hard, hard flesh, pulsing under me. Slowing, slowing. Is my heart slowing? Am I going to die? Is that was that was for?

Dimly I sense the figures above me, looming, made from flesh the same as the floor, always moving. They grow dimmer, blacker, I can’t see them, I can’t see me. I can’t feel. I am inside. They think I’m asleep, but I’m never asleep, just trapped, trapped in my own world, when the outside goes away I’m left with my world. My own private world.

I hear the sounds outside my window, and try to open my eyes. My eyes are still heavy, they gave me something, and my eyes are heavy. My senses are numb, I can’t feel, my hands feel big, like they are numb. I look down, and see my squishy pink hands, stroking the smooth sheets. My pink hands. I look up, the walls are back. The smooth white walls, not the flesh, the ever crawling flesh that comes from the floor. The floor is back as well. Hard orange plastic, hard, cold on my bare feet, my pink feet, as I climb out.

I try to stand, but my balance is wrong. I am wrong. My pink squishy hands are wrong!

No, its all right, I’m in the good place. This is the good place. I have floor and walls. And a hall. I like my hall, it takes me places. I surrender my feet to the floor, the floor accepts them, stealing them from me, and taking me away.

Its all right this time, I’m in the safe world. The floor can have my feet. If it wants. It will stop the floor punishing me.

The floor takes my stolen feet down the hall. I wonder where I will go this time. I stumble, my balance is wrong. I tell them, my balance is wrong and they ignore me. Why do they ignore me?

The floor takes me to the room. The food room. The one I go to.

Out of the corner of my eyes, I see the shadowy monsters, they run up the hall, talons clicking on the cold orange floor. The floor would steal their feet, but the floor’s too weak to stop these things, too weak to take their feet like it does to me.

The talon grips my shoulder and I look up to see the orderly, looking angry. He thinks its my fault I left my room. He doesn’t understand about the floor, they are strong enough, tough enough, the floor leaves them alone. This place leaves them alone. It didn’t steal them. It only stole me.

I look at them with my sore, tired eyes, and he looks back. I would stay, but my feet move, move forwards, and I walk into the food room.

Out onto a floor of pulsing red flesh.

I panic and turn for the orderlies but its too late! I’m in a trap! The doors are gone, replaced with giant teeth, waiting for me to go through, waiting to chew me, and add my parts to the flesh. The ever creeping flesh.

Pain shoots through my head, and I crouch down to the flesh, the hard knotted skin, pulsing and moving, and I run my hand along the smooth orange texture. Standing up again, I walk further into the food room, wary now, now I know they are trying to steal me again. The flesh wants to steal me into itself. I beat it though, this time, I survived. It makes them angry that I resist, but I must. I will make up for it later, I will help them later, and they will forgive me for resisting.

The shadow monsters behind me step out and around me, the clean crisp white uniforms the orderlies wear shining under the lights above. The lights twist for me, squirm, colour themselves red again, but it’s no use, I’ve beaten them now, they are stuck, they can’t bring the flesh back now.

One of the orderlies brings me my cup, the cold plastic, flimsy cup. Cold and slimy, trying to slip between my fingers, but the orderly is there so the white plastic cup can’t try to change.

The orderly smiles, all traces of his massive blood coated fangs hidden behind his white smile. Even his real hands are concealed, because pink hands push the cup into my hand, and he turns and walks away. They know I know what to do.

I look at the cup. It is a cold white plastic cup. I turn the cup, almost dropping its contents. Tiny tentacles try to attach themselves to my face, but they are too small, not in their world, so the little grey pills can’t steal me.

I need to help the flesh now, the flesh is angry with me, and I have to help it. The flesh, wants me to take these, so I will. I will help make the flesh forgive me. It will be better.

Suddenly a monster explodes up next to me, snakes snapping from his twisted hair, and blood running freely from scaly purple sores over his bloodshot yellow face.

I pulled back from him. He changes back to human form, he has to change because he is out of place and can’t stay long as his real shape, but I am still scared. It is Harry, and Harry is not my friend. I don’t like Harry, he calls me a crazy, he tells me I’m crazy, but I’m not, he knows I’m not, he changes before me, I see him. He looks at me, his wild staring eyes looking over me. He doesn’t work for the flesh, that’s why the flesh stole him and put him here, he goes against the flesh, he is crazy and the flesh stole him, absorbed him, so it could crush him and turn him useful. But he was too crazy, the flesh wouldn’t crush him, so he stays, a cancer to be destroyed one day.

He looks at my cup. He wants my cup, I’m sure of it. He is a stealer too. They are all stealers. They want my life, my mind or my things. They want to take from me, absorb me into them, make me one of them. But I won’t let them. I must take my creatures, then the other side will leave me alone, stop attacking me and trying to absorb me. I am too weak when I go into the world of the flesh, I need this world, the safe world where I am safe.

He takes my cup! I shout, but he is too clever for me, he stole my yell, not letting me shout out, he takes my pills, and tilting his yellow fanged head back, he takes my pills! He stole from me! I slump, I am angry, but if I am angry the dark world comes and teaches me not to be angry. Lessons of pain, I know not to be angry.

But he has made a mistake! I am in the real world. The orderlies are my friends here, they are here to help me, not like in the other place, where the dark shadowy monsters try to hurt me.

I shout for them, Harry didn’t realise I had taken my voice back, inch by inch, step by step. They steal so much, I need to get some back so I can live. They steal all my life, and to live I must steal back. I did it and Harry didn’t realise. Harry is stupid.

The orderly comes to me, and wants to help me. He listens when I tell him Harry stole from me. He listens! He wants to know about stealing! I tell him how I was stolen, maybe he will help me, he can help me, he is strong, not ruled by the flesh. But his concern was an act. He nods his head, his massive black tipped horns rocking gently in their blood red sockets. He doesn’t believe me again. He won’t listen.

Harry smiles and laughs at me. The flesh doesn’t like Harry. The flesh isn’t Harry’s friend. But it is angry with me. Harry is too strong, beyond it’s control for now. I am weak, a victim of its whims. It wants to punish me. I let Harry have my pills. I let him steal from me. The cup was a gift to me from the flesh, and Harry, the enemy of the flesh, took it. Flesh is angry with me. I hide my head.

When I rise it from my arms the orderly takes my arm. He smiles evilly at me as his strong talons dig into my weak flesh, biting down, letting the blood run. They pull me to my feet, the scaled shadow beasts drag me away from Harry while I leave a trail of blood. Harry laughs. He has done this to me. He knows I’m not crazy.

I tell them again how I was stolen, I must get my cup back from Harry, but they ignore me. Why do they always ignore me?

I grow angry, I must get my cup or I will be punished, so I try to go back. I let my feet touch the ground, the ground takes them, to take me back, but I didn’t do it slow enough, they see me stealing away, and grab me. I stole myself back too fast. Silly, silly. I am in trouble now. The shadows are angry with me.

With their needle they dim themselves again, then dim me. They think I am asleep but they are wrong. I am in my world. I am trapped again. My own private world. I am never asleep, they won’t let me.

When they let me out again, I am alone and my room is cool and white, the floor is orange, and I sit up. I clutch my head and pull back my foot just short of contact with the flesh. It wants to hurt me now, it wants to hurt my poor little pink foot. It lets me stay in my world, lets me keep my soft pink body, so I can’t survive in the flesh world. It wants to punish me.

I close my eyes. I hope that it hasn’t grown too angry with me. I open my eyes, and place a foot down upon the cold hard orange plastic. I step carefully down from my bed and up to my door.

They lock it as normal, sometimes they use sharp cold metal but normally they have the flesh seal it with a bridge of hard throbbing flesh, to stop me leaving. The flesh is always worse than the metal. The flesh is alive and senses me coming closer.

But I have to leave. I must get out before I am punished. It is time for me to steal myself out of the flesh, to escape before anything else happens to me.

They steal from me, and I have learnt to steal back. I think they know I must, because if I didn’t I would not have any life left, and would die. I have to steal back, and have learnt, I can steal slowly, and they don’t see me. I have some of my memories, I have a past. I can’t see it, but it’s there, I can feel it, large, dark and dead, waiting for something to revive it.

I steal well. They don’t see me steal, almost never see me steal these days. I take the cold hard metal key from my pocket in my robe and look at it. If I look carefully I can just see the engravings in the metal, the twisted pattern of the flesh waiting to consume it. I stare down at the large squirming thing in my hand, and almost drop it, but I know better. If it can drop to the flesh below it will be free, it will merge back, and back to the shadow monster, and they will be angry.

I look down at the teeth blocking my way out from the room, the massive teeth, firmly locked and with a bar of thick, dark blood red flesh stretched across. I look down at the massive teeth of the creature in my hand. I look to the bar.

The teeth of my creature bite into the flesh, sending a cascade of blood to the floor, and like it should, the bar pulls back, like a gigantic tongue. Like a tongue, it licks its teeth over as it moves, and the teeth open, the giant gums of the walls pulling back so the razor sharp teeth can pull back. I steal myself again, and thrust through the door into the corridor beyond.

It still hasn’t been long enough since I angered the flesh by not taking their cup, so I step down onto the hard coldness of orange plastic. I am in my hall again. The floor takes my feet, but this time I fight, I take back, I steal my feet back from the hugging floor.

I am in my world, I feel clear again for a moment. I have to get out. Now. They will know my door is open and that it shouldn’t. They will come and find me. I must hurry.

I jog down the hall and the speed clears my head. I see the corridor, the clean white and orange corridor, stretching out down to the corner. The lights are clear and white.

I jog harder, I have to get away. I see an orderly behind me, so I stop. I slow, I’m walking now. Hopefully he won’t realise I was running. Its not good to run when orderlies are about, they might grab with their talons and growl with their shadow monster breath and drag you away.

But now I move too slow, I feel the flesh catch up with me. I look to the wall beside me. Splat! Blood streaks across the clean white surface in a thick spray, the blood already darkening to almost black. I look down to the flesh at my feet, and the red, red light above me, flickering as the beast closes and opens its mouth.

Its no good, I can’t keep it up. Already I feel my hands changing. My pink hands, my beautiful pink delicate hands crust over as I watch, dark needles of shell growing from my hands until they are black talons, sharp and harsh.

I scream, but already the change is up my throat, and I let out a scratchy clicking sound, the clicking sound echo’s down the corridor, and the orderly looks up.
No good now, no good. Have to go, have to run! I run again, my body moving better now, my joints clicking together as hurl myself down the hall. I feel the change sweeping back, my hands return, my vision clears and I see the hall again, my white, clean hall.

I am normal again, but not balanced, I can’t move properly, my legs don’t bend in the right places, and my centre of balance is off. I fall against the wall at the end. Smash! The orderly is gaining on me. I pull myself up and run as fast as I can along the hall, hoping that I can make it out before I go too far. I needed my cup from this morning to stop the change happening!

Whenever I miss a cup, or they take it away from me, this happens. The change comes back, I see the flesh world, the flesh tries to take me. I can’t stand it! I won’t be stolen! They can take me, but they won’t destroy me! I will escape.

An exit! I see an exit I think. I can’t stop long enough to steady my tired eyes, but I think it is. I can’t stop now, orderly too close, and its too long since my last cup. I’ll change, and then I’ll loose control.

Stairs. I stop at the brink of the door and stare with horror at the twirling, twisting snake, massive hard scales glistening with red light.

No! No! I shake my head, I will them to be stairs. Must be stairs, need to get up.

I slam the door behind me and run up the stairs. I don’t know where they’ll take me, I’ve never been out. They stole my memories, so I can’t escape. But I’ll show them! I can escape! I’ll find a way out.

I come to the top door, and pause to open it. The door nob lunges forwards and tries to sink in its teeth, but at that moment, my hand hardens, and the biting teeth of the creature shatter against my armoured hand, and I claw the door open.

I emerge onto hard glistening scales, a hot wind blows in my face, the glaring red sky spins across my vision and massive shapes swoop around in the sky.

Looking over the pulsing flesh and scales, I realise I must have made it to the roof, so I step forwards across the grey concrete and look out across the clear blue vista at the scene below.

Over the edge of the roof I see buildings and cars. The cars drive down the road, their massive front pincers swinging and attacking the other scuttling beetles as they pass, leaping over bloody holes in the crusted flesh that they travel on.

A sound makes me swing my head around, the sky clearing from red to blue as I turn. Across the roof I see the orderly and a nurse, clad in their ultra white uniforms. They are crying out to me.

I can’t quite make out what their saying, but I know what they want, they want to take me back. I have to get away, but the only way out is down, but I would just fall and die. Splat.

The orderly steps forwards carefully, I think he is calling out calming words, I can’t hear any more, the blood in my ears is too loud. I hear the throbbing slow, black clots are forming along my veins and the shadow figure steps closer, his talons clicking on the roof of the building. He tells me not to do anything foolish.

I look over the roof again, down into the street where the beetles are waiting.

I blink and take another look at the nurse and orderly. The nurse is clutching a syringe in her taloned hand, the point of the spike glistens with old dried blood, and she smiles, her fangs stretching around to form a hideous site. I know what they really want, and I don’t want them to have it. I want the stealing to stop now.

I look over the edge again as my neck and back hardens over. I regain the balance I have been missing, and my joints feel right again. I pull myself up on to the ledge with a scaly talon and look down. I wave my arms as a gust of hateful red wind tries to push me over. I have to escape from them. I can’t let them take me. How?
The shadow creature yells out to me not to jump, but I have to don’t I? But I won’t fall, oh no, I will fly! I will soar in the air. I have wings now. I know I do. I can feel them, giant beetle wings under my casing, beautiful golden green wings, tipped with red. Red like fresh blood, the red of the sky.

The shadow creature is too close, it is time for me to fly. Foolish? I’m not being foolish, I’m freeing myself, I am going to fly! Watch me soar!

My legs contract, and I fling myself from the roof, from their cups I have to take and their doors and their teeth and the flesh. I will escape all of it! I will! I will soar like a bird!

The wind rushes in my face, and I grin. I am escaping! I am free! Free like a bird! I feel my beautiful new found wings open up, the spread out from my body, I feel so free.

Look at me! Look monsters! Look demons! I can fly! I am above you all! Watch me fly! I fly faster and faster! I am so free!

I twist and turn like a delicate feather! Watch me! I fly! With my new wings! I grew them to escape, I needed them to flee, and I got them and I have!

The impact of the hard concrete sends lightning bolts of pain wrapping suddenly around my ribs, electrocuting my heart and jolting my senses. My wings vanish in a puff of reality, the real world comes back like a wave, the shock knocks it into my brain.

I look up, and back at where I came from. Far away I can just make out the tiny figures of the orderly and the nurse looking down at the street below.

I smile. They won’t find me there. Oh no. Standing up, I look at the roof top I landed on. I must be a good two blocks away from the big old hospital now. They won’t find me. They didn’t see my wings, they didn’t see my freedom.

But I did, and now I’ve stolen everything back.